How Evil Came To Saillune
by cyberimp6
Summary: Doom threatens! Monsters stalk the streets! Amelia connects with her inner dark side! And Fila has a very trying day.
1. Arrivals and Rivals

Disclaimer: Characters from "Slayers" are Copyright Hajime Kanzaka, Tommy Ohtsuka, and Rui Araizumi. Lyrics from "You Are Woman I Am Man" are included under the Fair Use provision. This work is a parody and not to be used for any commercial purposes.

Foreword: this story takes place about half a year after my story "The Green-Eyed Dragon". Filia and Xellos are a couple, raising Val as their son, and also have hatched a Mazoku-Dragon hybrid baby, named Alcia.

**How Evil Came To Saillune**

The flames leaped higher in the bronze brazier, twisting into fantastical shapes, and throwing ominous-looking shadows onto the walls of the chamber. "Yes," said Filia. "The vision is becoming clearer. Great danger threatens this city, and this world."

"Are you certain?" asked the chief of the white-robed acolytes.

"I am," said Filia gravely. "I have seen nothing like this since the Darkstar prophecy. The Mazoku are planning to revert this world into chaos."

"Oh, no," said the tall and well-endowed young woman. "Isn't there any way to combat it? Even Darkstar had a vulnerability."

Filia had to keep reminding herself that this woman was none other than her one-time traveling companion Princess Amelia. Her growth spurt had made an extraordinary difference, and even the acolytes seemed a little distracted. Putting that out of her thoughts for the moment, Filia closed her eyes, and furrows appeared in her forehead as she concentrated. "The forces of Chaos approach . . . They seek that which is bright . . . and pure. . . We must confront them . . . With that which is dark and mingled." Slowly she relaxed. "I'm sorry. That is all I can see."

"It is very little to go on," said the chief of the acolytes. "We are very likely facing a Mazoku invasion, and we have little idea what our counter-measure even looks like."

"That's not just to Miss Filia!" Amelia exclaimed. "She's tried very hard. And it's more than we had before she came here."

The chief of the acolytes nodded. "That is true, your highness. I apologize, priestess Filia."

Filia was about to say that she was technically no longer a priestess, but it would have been a distraction from the main subject. And it made her feel better to know that her consorting with a certain high-level Mazoku hadn't entirely destroyed her former abilities.

"Now, what if we send extra guards to the city gates?" Amelia asked. "We might be able to spot the Mazoku before they enter Saillune."

"Not today, your highness," replied a second acolyte with a grim look. "The revels have already begun, and folk wearing costumes are already on the city streets."

"Costumes?" Filia asked.

"Tonight is Monster's Eve," Amelia explained. "A festival my mother started to remind of the existence of evil even in the city of white magic."

"It's the evil outside the city we should be worried about!" retorted the chief acolyte. "It will provide the Mazoku the perfect cover to infiltrate. I'm sure they're delighted!"

* * *

><p>"This is a mockery! An outrage!" fumed Dynast Grausherra. "They dare to laugh at the power of Evil!"<p>

"But, Lord Dynast," one of the four costumed figures with him spoke up, "it got us inside the city without a disturbance." He carefully avoided reminding one of the three Mazoku Lords that he was dressed as a snowman.

"And what if there were a 'disturbance'?" Dynast returned. "Do you realize this accursed city has only been damaged by Zanaffar and Lina Inverse? Never by one of we Mazoku? I say it is time."

"Perhaps," a second of his minions demurred, "but we are not as strong you, Lord Dynast, against the positive emotions here. And what if one of the other Mazoku Lords finds the Vessel while we are - ahem - dealing the merited punishment?"

Dynast halted for a moment. "Valid points, Vorkuta. We cannot afford the distraction. Lady Zelas and Lady Dolphin are very likely here with their minions even as we are."

* * *

><p>"No, I'm confident sister-Dolphin won't be here." Zelas Metallium said, adjusting the headpiece of her wolf-costume. "She seems to be confused about which month the Monster's Eve festival is in."<p>

"And would you have anything to do with that confusion, my Queen?" Xellos' outfit as the general of a dark army fit him faultlessly. Which was only natural, since he'd had it for centuries.

"Misdirection can be quite effective," Zelas smiled, "and it saves considerable power for other uses. I was able to make the shield against positive emotions on us last until sunrise tomorrow, if need be."

"I doubt it will be necessary. We can carry on the search for Valwin's Vessel almost openly today and tonight." Xellos pointed out. "Going from house to house will seem quite normal."

"True. But I also want to interfere with my brother's search." Zelas' face took on a grimmer expression. "Brother-Dynast must not be the one to find and use Valwin's Vessel, so you will want to neutralize whichever servants of his you can locate. Naturally, they will try to do the same to us. I trust you are prepared to return to my side at a moment's notice?"

"Of course, my Queen." The two split up, walking quietly but purposefully.

* * *

><p>"Halt, Deep Sea Dolphin!" barked the guard.<p>

"Me?" Lina Inverse yelled.

"Yes, you!" returned the guard. "You are wearing a mermaid costume, your minion is dressed as a jellyfish, and you have the aura of strong black magic!"

Lina turned towards Gourry. "I told you not to wear that wear that blasted Jellyfish costume!"

"But it's so comfortable. Besides," Gourry pointed out, "you _are_ wearing a mermaid outfit."

"Well, I was_ not_ going to dress as a witch." Lina tried keep a shred of calm. "Shouldn't I have an outfit that shows me as the beautiful, magical creature I am?"

"So you are Deep Sea Dolphin!" the guard seized on Lina's remark.

"No, you pea-brain!" Lina's effort to keep calm pretty much came to an end. "I'm Lina Inverse!"

"That's just as bad!" The guard stepped back a pace. "Lina Inverse the Dragon Spooker? The Enemy of All Who Live?"

* * *

><p>"Did you by any chance summon Lina to Saillune as well?" said Filia as they walked out onto the balcony.<p>

"Why, yes," Amelia replied. "How did you know?"

"That was one of her Fire Balls." Filia pointed towards the East Gate. "We'd better go there. Just give me a moment to collect the children."

The summons to Saillune had been so unexpected and urgent that Filia had been forced to bring not only Val but baby Alcia along. Xellos was off on an assignment, Jillas had been on vacation and Gravos didn't quite have the brainpower to handle a half-dragon half-demon baby. Mind you, it wasn't that Alcia was badly behaved. In fact, to Xellos' vocal disappointment, she was almost angelic. But she kept reverting to her Mazoku form, which most people found highly disturbing.

And Alcia was very peculiar about feeding. Filia had tried every kind of milk she could think of, and each one was promptly rejected. If Alcia had spat the stuff out on the floor and wailed it would have been bad enough, but instead she would turn to Filia with a heartrending 'why are you being so mean' expression. But when Xellos offered her raw eggs, beef broth, or tomato soup salted to the same level as blood, Alcia eagerly slurped them down, to Filia's consternation. Worse still, she often didn't need any food at all, but seemed to thrive when the villagers around her were in bad moods. What this meant was something Filia preferred not to think about, so she ignored the disgruntled face of the nanny Amelia had brought in, and retrieved her smiling baby.

Zelgadis had been detailed to watch over Val, and his face had been almost as sour as the nanny's at first. But he and Val were now practicing a basic sword routine with a pair of sticks, and Val's enthusiasm had spread to the chimera. He seemed a little disappointed at having to end the lesson and proceed post-haste to the East Gate.

Once there, it took a little time and some direct orders from princess Amelia to straighten out the situation. And to prevent Lina from being thrown into the deepest dungeon in Saillune, which would have had nasty consequences for the dungeon. Finally Amelia and Filia were able to explain what they knew.

"So we have to stop the Mazoku from finding some very powerful artifact," Lina summed up when they were done, "but we have barely a clue what it is?"

"And we don't know what the Mazoku will look like, either." Amelia nodded.

"I bet I know what one of them looks like," Gourry spoke up. "Xellos is bound to be in on this!" Filia caught her breath. Gourry was right; this must be what Xellos' latest assignment was.

"Daddy's going to be here?" Val exclaimed, delighted. "Can he come and collect candy with us?"

Filia was anything but delighted. "Now Val, we're not here for Monster's Eve. We grown-ups have something very important to do."

"Aw, no!" Val pouted. "All the other children in the city are getting candy!"

"He does have a point," said Gourry. Lina nodded as well. Some sacrifices were too great to be ignored.

"You're not helping-!" Filia practically hissed. She turned to Val. "There's something else. Daddy's not going to be on our side."

"But he always has been before," Val objected, wide-eyed.

"You know, he has something there too," Lina said. "Xellos has played any number of tricks on us, but he's always made sure we stayed alive. Filia, is it possible you could convince him not to find whatever it is the Mazoku are looking for?"

"It might just have a chance." Filia said slowly. "Tell me, Val, where do you think daddy would look for something very valuable?"

"I think he would look in the expensive stores first," replied Val. "That way, if he didn't find it, he could still get presents to bring us."

Filia reflected that it was true Xellos would often bring presents after completing his assignments. (Where on Red Orb he had found an 'I Can Cast It Myself Illustrated Introduction to Black Magic' book for Val, she had no idea.) Now, if he would just bring a nice pair of earrings for her, that would be a present worth- she snapped her fingers. "Bright and pure!" She exclaimed. "That could mean a powerfully enchanted gem!"

"It sure could!" Lina's treasure-hunting instincts had clearly not faded.

"All right, I'll start looking for Xellos in the jewelry district. Stay close to me, Val." Thinking that it was not her preferred way to try to save the world, Filia trotted off with Alcia in her arms and Val scampering along beside her, leaving Amelia to give the others their areas of Saillune to search.

* * *

><p>It turned out not to be difficult to find Xellos. Filia walked quickly down the streets, glancing in the shop windows, and from the shopkeepers with irritated faces was able to follow the Mazoku's trail. She also kept her ears open, and in a few minutes was rewarded.<p>

"_What do you mean_, what you're looking for is a secret?" Came a cry from the shop at the end of the block.

"Found him!" said Filia. Val needed no instruction to stay close this time. The dragon-child dashed off towards the shop, with Filia running behind him as fast as she dared while holding Alcia.

Xellos sauntered out of the shop, and for one of the very few times in her life Filia was able to see him taken completely by surprise. "Daddy!" Val shouted, ran up, and hugged Xellos' legs. Filia greatly approved; it made it impossible for him to run.

"_Val?_" Xellos' jaw dropped in a fair imitation of the lid of a jack-in-the-box. He remembered at the last instant not to jump in the air, since he had someone hanging on to him. Then he looked up, to see his approaching mate. _"Filia? Alcia?_ What are you all doing_ here?_"

"We're here to stop what you are doing here." Filia answered.

"How could you bring the_ children?_!" Xellos had not recovered yet, which was probably a new record. "Don't you know my assignments are often dangerous?"

"If the prophecy is anywhere near accurate, it won't really matter where the children are, will it?" Filia returned.

Xellos sweat-dropped. "There's a prophecy?" And now he recovered. "I don't suppose it came from a certain Golden dragon ex-priestess?"

"Please, Xellos." Filia put everything she had into her appeal. "For Val's sake—for Alcia's sake—for everyone. Please help to stop this. For once, put something higher than your mission."

Xellos opened his eyes, and for once they were not menacing. But neither were they kind, and Filia's heart went into her mouth. After a few moments—or was it a few centuries?-he spoke. "Filia, sometime soon we must have a talk about pushing on doors marked 'pull'. But for now, I need you to do something very difficult for you. I need you to trust me, and do what I ask."

The phrase 'I'd rather die' popped immediately into Filia's mind. But-a large number of others could die as well, including her children. " . . . all right," she managed.

Xellos closed his eyes and resumed his usual smiling expression. "I need you to take Val around Saillune for candy."

"YAY!" Val did indeed jump for joy.

"_What?_" Filia's reaction was slower, mostly because her jaw had dropped and she needed a moment to regain control of it.

"Let me see if we can give you a proper outfit, Val." Xellos stepped over, and touched Val's clothes with his staff. There was a puff a smoke, and in a moment Val was wearing a black dragon costume.

"This is great!" Val exclaimed, looking over his new outfit. "Thank you, daddy!"

Filia had been about to protest further, but something occurred to her. The powers of a Mazoku were hampered considerably within Saillune, the city of white magic. Xellos had needed to use his staff for something that would have been a mere hand-wave for him elsewhere. To have exerted himself that much meant he did indeed have a definite plan.

"And now I need to tell you your part, Val." Xellos said. "Ready?"

"Uh-huh!" Val nodded energetically. Xellos bent down and whispered into his ear. The boy smiled even more widely, and shouted "Okay!"

"What did you just tell him, Xellos?" Filia demanded.

Mazoku and dragon-child turned towards her, each putting a finger to their lips, and said together, "That is a secret!"

And Filia threw back her head and wailed to whatever gods might be listening, "WHY ME?"

(To Be Continued . . .)


	2. Brisk Encounters

Disclaimer: Characters from "Slayers" are Copyright Hajime Kanzaka, Tommy Ohtsuka, and Rui Araizumi. This work is a parody and not to be used for any commercial purposes.

**How Evil Came To Saillune. Ch. 2**

"Nice costume, mister!" said a girl in a unicorn outfit as she ran by Zelgadis.

"It's not a-" Zelgadis began, and then stopped himself. The girl had meant it as a compliment, and somehow you couldn't be rude to a little girl in a unicorn outfit. Even if she had been the fifth person in scarcely half an hour to remind him that it was only on a weird day like today that his appearance fit in.

But tomorrow, everyone would have taken off their masks and costumes, while he would remain as monstrous-looking as always. And it was for always. Rezo's spirit in the Hellmaster's Jar had confirmed what he had, after so many years, already begun to suspect. There was no way to change him back from being a chimera. What was it that Rezo had said? "No one can deny the wish of his soul." What happened when his soul's wish was unattainable?

There was a shadow near him, one that looked annoyingly familiar. He looked up to see pretty much the last person he wanted to see. "You really ought to stop feeling sorry for yourself," Xellos remarked.

"It's none of your business what I feel-" Zelgadis began.

"Actually, today it is. You're attracting other Mazoku." Xellos interrupted. "As a matter of fact, here come two now."

The pair approaching looked like costumed revelers at first glance, and indeed the first one was dressed like a giant armadillo. But a discerning eye would have soon discovered that their fangs and claws were not props.

"Well if isn't Xellos," said the leader in a sarcastic tone. "We might have known you'd be first to the best negative emotions in this wretched city."

"Oh, I can't agree, Landro," Xellos' eyebrows raised a fraction. "For any Mazoku with decent taste, Lina Inverse's Irritation far surpasses this one's Self-Loathing."

"Excuse me?" said Zelgadis.

"Then you won't mind if we feed on him," said Landro. Zelgadis' mouth curved into a snarl.

"Mistaken again," Xellos replied. "It would be quite rude. Why don't you simply leave Saillune, and then you won't need the energy?"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" The other Mazoku almost spat. "Then you'd be free to search for the you-know-what."

"What was it again?" Zelgadis inquired.

"Valwin's Vessel, of course," replied the second mazoku. A moment later, his eyes widened and he smacked himself in the forehead.

"Yagoda, you lamebrain!" yelled the first, and Xellos sweat-dropped.

"Well, he looks like one of ours. . ." Yagoda tried to excuse himself. "A lot more than Xellos does."

"Excuse me?" both Xellos and Zelgadis were incensed, although for different reasons.

Landro turned towards Yagoda. "For your mistake, you can keep Xellos busy while I harvest the chimera."

"But I-" began the slower-witted Mazoku, but Landro was already leaping to attack Zelgadis.

"This should be very amusing," Xellos remarked, and moved to engage Yagoda.

Zelgadis had less than a heartbeat to ready himself, but it was all he needed. His sword left its sheath in a silver blur, and mazoku claws clashed against the steel as he parried the strike. His riposte was blocked, but not as well as he'd expected. His opponent was clearly more interested in offense than defense. Zelgadis put that to his advantage by twisting to dodge the next blow, and without the need to recover from a parry, his counter-thrust landed on the Mazoku's flank.

But there was no effect beyond the sound of the contact. "Clever, isn't it?" Taunted Landro. "My outfit truly is armored. That fancy sword of yours is no use against me!"

Zelgadis gave a feral grin. "I have two words to say about that. Astral Vine!" His blade glowed red for a moment as it absorbed the power of his spell.

"But you're a swordsman!" Protested the mazoku.

"That too." Zelgadis feinted at his opponent's stomach, dodged the riposte and thrust home to the shoulder. There was a flare of energy, and the mazoku retreated a step, clutching its arm.

Meanwhile, Xellos was whirling his staff in a complicated pattern which drew Zelgadis' professional admiration in spite of his dislike. The bottom end of the staff past Yagoda's defense and struck just below the knee. The resulting stumble gave Xellos the opening to bring the jeweled end around to connect with the Mazoku's face. Dark energy hissed, and Dynast's servant was picked off his feet and thrown backwards several paces, to land in a heap.

Xellos turned to Zelgadis. "Care for some assistance?"

"No, thanks." Zelgadis found he was still smiling. "I can use the exercise."

"Insolent human!" Landro growled.

"Why, thank you." Zelgadis returned.

"Don't underestimate the power of a Mazoku!" Landro gestured, gathering energy, and then released it in streamers of angry red magic.

Zelgadis was prepared. "Stone Spiker!" he shouted, and a group of stalagmites erupted from the pavement, blocking the spell. Landro cursed, and dashed towards the improvised barrier. With a swing of his good arm, he broke off two of the stalagmites and sent them towards Zelgadis. The chimera side-stepped one and deflected the other with his sword.

Meanwhile Yagoda rose from the pavement, not entirely steady, gathered himself, and charged at Xellos. The priest-general stepped aside, twirled his staff, and this time connected with the back of Yagoda's head. Again the luckless Mazoku went briefly airborne, planting his face on the pavement at the end of his trajectory.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't rumple my uniform," Xellos informed his foe, although it was doubtful how much attention Yagoda was paying.

Zelgadis and Landro engaged again, sword ringing against claws. Zelgadis had the better of it this time, for Landro's wounded arm was not as useful as before. Going for broke, Landro managed to catch the sword with his good arm, even though the be-spelled blade clearly did some damage in the process.

"Hah!" shouted the Mazoku in triumph. His expression changed dramatically when Zelgadis simply clenched his free hand into a fist and delivered a solid punch to his opponent's face. The Mazoku staggered back, releasing Zelgadis' sword. "Impossible! A human can't hurt my astral being!"

"Did I forget to mention I'm part Brau demon?" said Zelgadis in a mock apology.

"Yagoda!" yelled Landro, noticing his partner was on the ground again. "Can't you do any better than that?"

By this time Yagoda was coming out of his daze. "I'm fighting the Lesser Beast here! Do you want to trade?"

"Oh, I don't advise it," Xellos wagged his finger. "My Queen's orders are not to kill any of her brother's servants unless absolutely necessary. I expect Zelgadis has no such inhibition."

"No argument here." Zelgadis held up his glowing sword and stepped forward.

Both of Landro's arms were now in less than prime condition. The Mazoku glanced from the determined chimera to the smiling Xellos, and decided the situation called for a retreat. The white magic of Saillune made astral travel difficult for all but the highest-level Mazoku, but Landro's legs were still in working order, and he made excellent use of them.

"Hey, wait!" yelled Yagoda. He looked at Zelgadis and Xellos in turn, and then picked himself off the ground with surprising speed and followed his companion in a headlong flight.

Xellos turned to Zelgadis. "My compliments. You've gotten better at fighting Mazoku."

"Being in Saillune helps. I don't know about you, but this city's starting to grow on me." Zelgadis' mood was much better now.

* * *

><p>Even Gourry could easily see that Lina Inverse was in an even worse mood than usual. There were risks in trying to cheer her up, especially given his less-than-impressive intelligence, but he felt he had to try. They were doing something rather important, after all, and Lina was plainly not at her best. (It was even worse than he knew, for neither he nor Lina noticed the two costumed individuals sidling closer to them.)<p>

"You're pretty mad at Amelia, aren't you, Lina?" he began.

"Well, that confounded summons of hers did interrupt the best vacation I've ever had." Lina's tone was angry, but, Gourry noticed, not furious. "A vacation to celebrate our engagement, you remember."

"I feel bad about that too, but she couldn't help that." Gourry pointed out. "It's really the fault of the Mazoku that the timing stinks."

Lina almost stopped in her tracks as the blonde swordsman actually got something right. "Yeah. I guess."

"And it's kind of fun picking up candy as we go along. Best of all, I'm sure Amelia will throw us a huge feast when this is all done." Gourry went on. To his surprise, Lina's face actually registered even more displeasure. "Is something going on between you and Amelia? You've been kind of down ever since you saw her."

_She reminds me now of someone I'd really rather forget_, thought Lina. Aloud, she said, "It's just weird seeing her so different now."

"You mean the way she's grown?"

_Especially in one – no, two – particular areas_, thought Lina. She nodded.

"Actually, I'm kind of glad you've stayed the same," Gourry said. "I've always thought you were beautiful just the way you are." He reached out and held her hand.

"Really?" Lina's face lit up. "Gourry, that's so-"

"Revolting!" shouted one of the two figures who were now alongside them. "There was such delicious negative emotion, and you had to ruin it!"

"Hey, I think we found some Mazoku!" Gourry said.

"No kidding." Lina retorted.

"Well, tell you what," said the second Mazoku. "Just hand over the chocolate you're carrying, and we'll let you go."

"Ohboy." Gourry said.

"_No one_ touches my chocolate." If Lina's voice had been any harder, it could have carved stone.

"You think a flat-chested kid like you can stop us?" asked the first Mazoku.

"_Darkness beyond twilight, Crimson beyond blood that flows_ . . ."

* * *

><p>Being in Saillune made phasing through walls considerably more difficult, but it was still well within Dynast Grausherra's power. He exited the fourth of the mansions he had searched without serious problems, but also with no satisfaction. It was taking too long to find Valwin's Vessel, and the Monster's Eve celebrations were flooding the area with positive emotions. His temper was only slightly improved by having helped himself to the expensive molded chocolates he had found in the pantry.<p>

He stepped out into the street, attempting to blend into the crowd until he reached the next mansion. He had only gone a few steps, however, when a wave of fear that was almost palpable swept down the street, as of a giant organ had sounded an ominous note. The other costumed revelers scurried to get indoors into the shops and cafes. Dynast turned, already knowing who he would see in the middle of the now otherwise empty avenue.

"Greetings, brother," Zelas spoke. "It has been some time, has it not?"

"You can spare me the melodramatics, Lady Zelas." Dynast's voice showed his irritation.

"Now why would I want to do that?" Zelas inquired in mock innocence.

"Because this is not a game," Dynast returned.

"Perhaps not. And yet, there are moves to be played."

* * *

><p>Xellos looked up. "So soon?" he said.<p>

"I know I'm going to regret asking this," said Zelgadis, "but what are you talking about?"

"My Queen and Dynast Grausherra are confronting each other two blocks to the south of us." Xellos answered.

"Hmm. I didn't think I was going to regret it _that_ much."

Xellos had taken considerable time and effort to lay an enchantment on his staff which would immediately return him to his creator's location. Gaav had sneeringly referred to this as "Xellos' run-home-to-mommy-spell". Gaav had been destroyed. No one had cared to adopt the phrase since. Now Xellos activated the spell, and was instantly transported to the Greater Beast's side.

"Oh, Mr. Dynast has come to Saillune! But aren't all these positive emotions quite unpleasant for you?" Xellos made a show of mock solicitude.

"Insolence!" Dynast growled. "And that's Lord Dynast to you, Xellos."

"Your pardon, Lord Dynast," Xellos gave his usual mocking smile. "Since certain people are where they are not wanted, I hadn't thought manners would be the order of the day."

"Can't you do something about your servant, Lady Zelas?" Dynast demanded.

"I suppose I could have him blast you from behind while I blast you from in front," said Zelas reasonably.

"Ha, ha." Dynast said. "This time, Lady Zelas, you placed too much confidence in your jack-of-all-trades. You'll find that you are the outnumbered side."

But at that point, a familiar voice roared "-_Dragon Slave!_" There was a thunderclap of an explosion three blocks away. An eye-blink later, two rather singed forms could be seen tumbling end over end as they soared over the city walls and headed for the horizon.

"I believe I recognized Vorkuta and Duadorr," Xellos said brightly. "At that velocity, they should overtake Landro and Yagoda on their retreat. How many others did you bring?"

The expression on Dynast's face made it clear that he was out of underlings. And a moment later, Zelgadis ran into the square.

"I believe you said something about the outnumbered side, Lord Dynast?" Xellos remarked.

"One miserable chimera makes little difference." Dynast replied.

As if in answer, Amelia came into the square, escorted by two wizards. One of them pointed his staff, and said, "The Snowman and the Wolf are the source of the black magic we sensed, your highness."

"The one in the uniform is also-" began the second.

"I recognize him," Amelia interrupted. "We will want to deal with the Snowman first."

"Very sound strategy," Zelas nodded.

"You _would_ say that!" Dynast retorted. He turned to Amelia. "You do realize that Lady Zelas represents the greatest threat?"

"That's the reason why." Zelgadis spoke up. "We'll wait until Lina Inverse gets here to tackle the greater challenge." He noticed Amelia relax just a little in relief, and knew that the real reason was that she wanted to postpone fighting Xellos as long as possible. The princess had grown, but it was still hard for her to think of anyone she had known for that long as an enemy.

"Lina Inverse is here as well?" Dynast slowly smiled. "I told you, Lady Zelas, that we should have eliminated her after the affair with Lord Gaav and Lord Phibrizzo. I leave you to prove me correct." It took a fair amount of power, but he disappeared, transporting himself to the astral plane.

"I think it is time for you to leave as well, Lady Zelas." Princess Amelia said.

"But I just got here." Zelas showed no intention of moving. "And Xellos, you should introduce me to your handsome friend."

"Oh, where are my manners?" Xellos said. "Allow me to present Zelgadis Greywords, swordsman, shamanistic sorcerer, and great-grandson of Rezo the Red Priest."

"That must be from where you get your good looks," Zelas nodded to Zelgadis.

Zelgadis was about to reply angrily, when it occurred to him that the Greater Beast was not being sarcastic. Someone who had created armies of beastmen could be expected to have different tastes. He looked at Amelia, and saw that the princess had a vein throbbing in her forehead. She had evidently drawn the same conclusion. He had the bad feeling that anything he said would cause major problems. Which was no small thing, given that the city was likely to be destroyed in the next few minutes anyway.

Fortunately, he didn't have to say anything. Lina and Gourry came running into the square, Lina looking even more annoyed than usual both at the exercise and at arriving last.

"All right, what's going on here?" Lina demanded.

"Princess Amelia is being quite inhospitable," Xellos answered, "and demanding that Lady Zelas and I be excluded from this enjoyable festival."

"Now, Mr. Xellos, that's not fair!" Amelia protested. "You're not here for the festival! You're just using the costumes as disguises!"

"Now, now, I must disagree." Xellos went into one of his favorite poses, eyes closed while waving a correcting finger. "This is no costume or disguise - I really am a general. And my Queen's outfit actually makes her look closer to her original form."

"Nice dodge, Xellos," Lina gave a cold smile. "But you're still not here for the festival."

"Really? Then what are we here for, Miss Lina?" Xellos parried.

"We know what you're here for," said Zelgadis. "You're looking for Valwin's Vessel."

Zelas gave a displeased look at Xellos, and he sweat-dropped.

"Valwin's Vessel?" Exclaimed Lina, her treasure-hunting instincts engaged again.

"I've run across descriptions of it during my researches." Zelgadis went on. "Its primary function is to channel Holy magic. With the magic available in this city, Lady Zelas could combine it with her Black magic and create enough fusion magic to do - well, almost anything."

Lina snapped her fingers. "Like blasting the planet open and breaking the seals of all of the remaining Shabranigdo fragments."

"Your reports were accurate," Zelas remarked to Xellos. "They are surprisingly clever."

"One exception." Xellos glanced at Gourry.

"And of course," Lina continued, "The Mazoku who revived Shabranigdo would become favored over all the other Mazoku lords."

"A very good guess," Zelas nodded. "I take it you weren't the favorite child in your family?"

"You have no idea." Lina suddenly looked depressed.

"I might at that. It's always bothered me that Lord Shabranigdo bestowed more power on brother Phibrizo than on any of the rest of us." Zelas' eyebrows rose. "Do you know, maybe I can ask him why when he is resurrected."

"Shabranigdo will not be resurrected if I can help it," declared Amelia.

"Interesting choice of words. I don't believe you can." Zelas replied.

"In the name of Justice, we have to try." Amelia stepped forward into a stalwart-looking pose.

"She's rather determined, isn't she?" Zelas said to Xellos.

"I believe I've mentioned as much," Xellos replied.

Zelgadis moved over to Amelia's side. Magical energies began to build as both sides prepared their spells. And then -

"Grandma!" Everyone looked up to see Val dashing into the square. Filia was a few lengths behind him, shouting for him to slow down and desperately trying not to shake Alcia as she ran. (She needn't have worried, for Alcia looked like she was having the ride of her life.)

"Grandma, I found you!" Val stopped next to Zelas and held up a bulging bag of goodies. "Look what I've got so far! Isn't Saillune a great place?"

"Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it, little Val," Zelas began, "but I've been trying to find something and-" Her eyes widened. "Are those Criollo chocolates?"

"I think that's what the man at the store said," answered Val. "They've got all kinds of good stuff all over the city."

"And you've been stealing it?" Zelas ruffled the dragon-boy's hair affectionately. "What a wonderful child you are."

"No, Grandma," Val shook his head. "It's not like that."

"It's rather more like a protection racket," Xellos interjected. "The children knock on the doors of houses and shops, and demand chocolates or other goodies under threat."

"Now, wait-" Amelia tried to interrupt.

"What's the phrase, little Val?" Xellos ignored her.

"Munch or Mischief!" Val recited happily. "And if they refuse and are mean, you get to play neat tricks on them!"

"That sounds like lots of fun!" Zelas smiled. "Can I come along with you?"

"_What?_" yelled Filia, but she was also ignored.

"Sure, but the candy is only supposed to be for the children," said Val.

"I can fix that." Zelas gestured, there was a cloud of smoke, and in a moment a wolf-costumed girl, appearing to be about five or six, stood next to Val.

"Grandma, you're the greatest!" Val exclaimed.

"No! Wait! Xellos, you can't let-!" Fila wailed.

The child-Zelas turned to Amelia. "See, I am here for the festival!" And before the princess could put together a reply, she and Val were off at a speed which would have made racehorses jealous.

"But—but-!" Filia spluttered. "She's the Greater Beast! The most powerful of the demonic race! And Val is going to show _her_ how to behave badly?"

"Ahh." Xellos' voice carried immense satisfaction. "That's my boy."

(To Be Continued . . .)


	3. The Runaround

Disclaimer: Characters from "Slayers" are Copyright Hajime Kanzaka, Tommy Ohtsuka, and Rui Araizumi, except for baby Alcia. This work is a parody and not to be used for any commercial purposes.

**How Evil Came To Saillune**

After the speedy exit of Val and Zelas, there had naturally been a discussion of what to do next. And somehow, during that discussion, Xellos had disappeared. Lina wasn't very concerned, since she was now in full treasure-hunting mode. And Gourry wasn't concerned, since he knew he wouldn't be able to divert Lina's attention for anything less than the all-out Armageddon that had just been averted. But Filia and Zelgadis were very concerned.

"You really think he's still searching for Valwin's Vessel?" Zelgadis asked.

"Lady Zelas didn't give him any new instructions before she ran off with Val." Filia couldn't repress a shudder at the thought of Val keeping company with a Mazoku lord.

"Look," said Lina, "if Xellos doesn't want to be found, you're not going to find him. That's why I need to get to Valwin's Vessel before he does."

"And it has nothing to do with its being a priceless artifact?" Zelgadis inquired.

"Umm, well . . ." Lina started tapping her forefingers together.

"Priceless or not," Amelia interposed, "Miss Lina has a point. We should try to get in front of Mr. Xellos. Miss Filia and Mr. Zelgadis, I think you should split up and search for Val and Lady Zelas. You can at least convince Val not to look for Valwin's Vessel, and then maybe Lady Zelas will get tired of running around with him."

Filia nodded thankfully. Zelgadis found himself agreeing as well. "Fair enough. In the meantime Amelia might want to return to the palace and tell the city guards to focus on looking for Zelas and Xellos. At least we don't have to worry about Dynast and his servants now."

"And could you possibly find another nanny for Alcia?" Filia asked. The first one had been engaged for a couple of hours only, and from her attitude upon discovering her charge was a mazoku-dragon hybrid, it was just as well.

"I'll do my best," said Amelia. "Good luck, everyone!" The princess beckoned the two wizards to follow her, and set off towards the palace.

Zelgadis decided to go back over the area of Saillune he had looked through before. It was just as likely that Val would be there as any other place, and since he had gone over it already he could search it more quickly this time. Also, this way there was less of a chance of getting lost while he was thinking, and he indeed had something on his mind.

He was aware that they all had been about to die. Nothing could have beaten Zelas Metallium except Lina's Giga Slave, and Xellos would have made sure that Lina couldn't cast it properly. He suspected Lina knew this as well, but the red-haired sorceress wasn't the type to admit it. Or even give it any more thought than she had to. Zelgadis, on the other hand, was exactly the type to turn it over in his mind, and something had occurred to him as a result. He hadn't been excessively concerned for himself. What had really scared him was the idea of Amelia being killed.

Some time later, Filia's day had not improved. She had no success finding Val and Zelas, her tail had appeared twice while she was distracted, and now, baby Alcia was hungry. Filia looked around for someplace suitable, but the sun was setting, and the only two restaurants she could spot were putting out their evening menus. This meant that any milk had been replaced by wine and other things not for infants. She was just about to turn away from the second restaurant when a rather unsavory aroma started to come from inside. Filia wrinkled her nose in distaste, but suddenly Alcia stopped whining and smacked her lips.

"Excuse me," Filia asked the man who had just changed the menu and was lighting the outside lamps, "could you tell me what I smell from the kitchen?"

"Ah, you have a good nose," the man smiled. "Our chef is boiling the blood pudding."

_Absolutely not_, Filia thought. She desperately scanned the menu for an alternative. "Do you have any tomato soup?"

The man shook his head. "No, I'm afraid we don't."

"Perhaps some raw eggs?"

The man looked at her, apparently starting to question her mental stability. "No, all our eggs are currently going into the dessert pastries."

Alcia began to get restless again. At that moment, Filia spotted something on the menu, and inspiration struck. It was the closest thing to milk she could see. "I'd like a cup of hot chocolate, please. And could you cool it down as much as you can?"

"Doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose of _hot_ chocolate?" inquired the man, who was apparently a purist when it came to food.

"Well . . ." Filia began, and then decided against an explanation. "Could you make that two cups, and have one of them the regular temperature?" She deserved something for herself, after all.

The man lifted an appreciative eyebrow. "An interesting experiment. Two cups of hot chocolate coming up, madam."

A short time later, Fila was seated at a table just inside the restaurant entrance, and blowing on the cooler cup until it seemed safe for Alcia. She filled a spoon and held it to Alcia's mouth. But the infant was evidently suspicious of anything that resembled milk, and turned her head away from the spoon with a distinct frown on her face.

"Come, on, little Alcia," Filia coaxed. "See? Mommy thinks it's yummy." She lifted her own cup to her lips and took a sip. She immediately regretted it as she realized that her cup hadn't cooled at all. "Mmm," she managed to say through somewhat scalded lips.

However, the sacrifice had not been in vain. Alcia turned her head back, and permitted Filia to feed her a spoon of the cooler chocolate. She smacked her lips for a moment. Then a smile bloomed on her face, which caused Filia to forget the miseries of the day for the moment, and the child opened her mouth for more. Filia happily gave it. Yes, there were rewarding parts to being a mother. Life wasn't so bad after all...

Alcia's frown returned, and she gave an unhappy mew. Filia immediately recognized the expression; her baby needed to burp. Simple enough. She placed Alcia with her chin resting on Filia's shoulder, and gently patted the dragon-mazoku infant on her back.

The resulting sound was somewhere between a foghorn and the mating call of a hippopotamus. Every waiter and customer in the restaurant turned to stare at Filia, and two more leaned out of the kitchen.

Filia's face went red. Eyes narrowed, she held Alcia up off her shoulder. "You'd better be a sweetheart as a teen-ager," she declared.

Zelgadis could barely believe that two children, or at least two child-sized individuals, could cover ground so fast. He ran from house to house and from shop to shop, but he always seemed to arrive after "the boy dressed as a dragon and the girl dressed as a wolf" had left. It was, he thought sourly, a little like his chasing after a cure for his chimera condition.

No, that wasn't quite right. Here he was on a definite trail. He knew that Val and Zelas existed, and if he didn't seemed to be getting any closer he also didn't seem to be falling further behind. And above all, he had no report that the "girl" was carrying anything large. Zelas at least was failing to find Valwin's Vessel, and that was the truly important thing.

There was a burst of bad-tempered shouting around the corner to his left. He trotted around it, and then pulled up short at what he saw. The third house down the block was almost covered in streamers of what looked like - yes, definitely was - toilet paper. A middle-aged woman with a face that reminded Zelgadis of a clenched fist was standing a few steps outside the door, yelling unpleasantries into the distance.

"Excuse me," Zelgadis managed to get in a few words as the woman paused for breath, "what happened here?"

"Two wretched brats – a boy and a girl – came to my house with that ridiculous 'Munch or Mischief' nonsense!" snapped the woman. "I told them they should fast to please the gods instead. And look what they did! Say," the woman's eyes narrowed, "you're wearing a costume too. Are those kids yours?"

"No." Zelgadis paused to consider his reply. " But I'm something of a friend of the family. And I'm not wearing a costume."

"Then that's the weirdest skin condition I've ever seen," said the woman.

Zelgadis thought of the various beast-men, fish-men, and Mazoku he had encountered on his adventures. "I'm guessing you haven't travelled much outside of Saillune."

"I should think not!" the woman said sharply. "The other cities are dens of sin and vice, from everything I've heard!"

"I see. Well, could you tell me which way the children went?"

Zelgadis got a direction, and started running again. But as soon as he rounded the next corner, he stopped and leaned against a wall for a few moments. And then, if Amelia or Lina had seen him, they would have been sure that the end of the world was arriving after all. Zelgadis was shaking with laughter.

Twilight was giving way to the pools of light cast by the street lamps when Val and the child-sized Zelas approached the store. However, Zelgadis had taken the extra precaution of hiding behind a stall of fruit in case he was recongnized too soon. The two small figures were only a few steps away from the entrance when Zelgadis spoke. "Hello, Val. You look like you've got quite a haul of candy."

The boy-dragon looked startled for a moment. "Uh . . . yeah, I did pretty good tonight."

"So, you don't really need more raw eggs, do you?" Zelgadis said gently.

Val looked down in embarrassment. "No . . . I guess not."

"Sure you do!" Zelas spoke up. "We only hit old man Gromble's house with one so far!"

"But it's getting really dark now," Zelgadis pointed out. "Your mother is going to be worried."

"He'll be perfectly safe with me," Zelas declared.

_That depends on how you define safe_, Zelgadis thought, but wisely didn't say it out loud. Instead he said, "There are also fun things happening at the palace. Everyone's going back there now. Come to think of it, Lady Zelas, have you ever been to a human dance before?"

Zelas raised her eybrows. "Now that you mention it, no." There was a puff of smoke, and Zelas' human form was back to adult size. "All right, let's go – but you, sir Zelgadis, will be my dance partner."

That prospect was not appealing to the chimera. _But_, he reflected, _at least I won't have to dress as a woman this time. _

After the stop to feed her baby, the trail had gone completely cold for Filia. She tramped down several more streets, but the night grew ever darker, and soon it became clear she could do no good. It was time to return to the palace and see if anyone else had reported any news.

The guards allowed her in readily enough. It appeared that a small army of cooks, servants, musicians, and guests was assembling there, and they were only too happy to accept her word that she was Filia, a friend of Princess Amelia, so they could continue checking the others and inspecting the crates of food and drink. Those crates reminded her of the best way to find Lina and Gourry.

But it was only Lina who was eating up a storm just outside the palace kitchens. In between tearing off pieces of roast chicken, the red-head explained something about Gourry napping after running after a flying Lina most of the afternoon.

"I take it you had no luck finding Valwin's Vessel?" Filia asked after Lina's hunger seemed to be satisfied for the moment.

"Nope." Lina shook her head. "There are no bandit gangs in Saillune for me to beat information out of. And no auction house has heard of its being sold. I don't understand how anything that rare could be brought here without anyone bragging about having it. Are you sure it's actually here?"

"Now that you mention it, no." Filia's eyes closed in thought for a moment. "My vision showed the Mazoku coming here to look for something. But maybe they're looking in the wrong place."

"Well, anyway," Lina shrugged, "if the Mazoku can't find it, it doesn't matter if we can't find it either. Say, Alcia's human form is pretty cute," Lina looked at the infant with a professional air. "I take it that's your magic?"

"Well, it's more Xellos' power and my design," Filia admitted. "I'd hoped that since she'd been hatched from an egg, her dragon side would dominate. But her original form was Mazoku," she sighed.

"Maybe if you'd had her the human way?" Lina suggested.

"I doubt that would have helped, and I'd really rather not go through the changes involved in carrying a baby in human form." Filia shuddered as delicately as she could manage. "The morning sickness, the backaches, the swelling of the stomach and bust, the stretch mar-"

"Hold it." Lina's eyes were intense. "Did you say the bust size gets - bigger?"

"Well, of course," replied Filia. "To hold the mil-"

"I gotta find Gourry." Lina interrupted. "We need to set a wedding date. And it's going to be soon."

"Is that really a priority in our situation?" But Lina was gone by the time Filia could finish her question.

(To be continued . . . )


	4. Hoedown and Showdown

Disclaimer: Characters from "Slayers" are Copyright Hajime Kanzaka, Tommy Ohtsuka, and Rui Araizumi. Lyrics from "You Are Woman I Am Man" are included under the Fair Use provision. This work is a parody and not to be used for any commercial purposes.**  
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**How Evil Came To Saillune**

Fortunately, some of the visiting nobles and foreign diplomats had small children, and Amelia had only needed to hire an extra nanny for the night. After seeing Alcia properly tucked into a crib, Filia made her way to the ballroom. As a priestess of the Fire Dragon temple, Filia had attended a number of dances and even two formal balls. She had thought she was ready for an event at the palace in Saillune. But she had not been expecting what she saw. The musicians had put aside any attempt at subtle background music, and were blaring enthusiastically at a level that rattled the window panes. The couples on the floor were responding in full measure; Filia had seen street carnivals with less energy. She was glad that the nursery was on the opposite side of the palace.

"A bit raucous, don't you think?" Xellos spoke in her ear.

Since they had been together for years now, Filia had learned not to jump six feet in the air at Xellos's sudden appearances. But she still instinctively took the opposite side, even if Xellos's remark had been just what she was thinking before. "There's nothing wrong with people enjoying themselves," she declared.

"I do believe Lina has rubbed off on you," Xellos observed.

"Lina? Why wouldn't it be Amelia?" Filia parried. "She has just as much enthusiasm."

"But would Amelia be singing 'Purple People Eater'? A song that celebrates a human-devouring monster?"

"Actually, it's a monster that eats purple people, not humans." Filia looked meaningfully at Xellos' purple hair, and was rewarded by seeing him unsettled for once. "So, what are you here for besides trying to annoy me?"

"Now that you mention it, I came to advise you not to let Val have any of the pumpkin cider."

The reason for the noisy atmosphere became clearer to Filia. "You spiked it, didn't you?"

"Me?" Xellos drew himself up in an exaggerated attitude of hurt feelings. "Indeed I did not! I'm wounded that you would jump to such a conclusion."

"In other words, someone else beat you to it."

"Heh." Xellos rubbed the back of his head with an embarrassed grin. "So it seems."

"Where's Amelia?" Filia looked around the dance floor, but the princess was not there yet. "She should be told about this."

"Told about what, mommy?" Val spoke up as he approached his parents.

"Val! Thank goodness you're back safely!" Filia forgot about the spiked cider for a moment and swept her son up in a hug.

"Of course I'm safe, mommy." It was fortunate that Val was a dragon himself, or Filia's embrace would have made it difficult for him to breathe. "Nothing could happen with grandma and uncle Zelgadis with me."

"Well, I was a little worried that Beastmaster-" Fila was interrupted for a moment by a meaningful cough from Xellos, "-that Lady Zelas would do something dangerous herself."

"Oh, no," Val shook his head. "Well, there was this one house she wanted to blow up, but I showed her how to throw a roll of toilet paper over the roof so it unwinds while it's-"

"Never mind," said Fila, and then turned to Xellos with a 'where-did-he-learn-_that_' expression.

Xellos blissfully ignored it. "Ah, here comes Amelia now," he said. "It must have taken her some time to get into that angel costume, but it seems to have been worth it."

Indeed, Amelia looked impressive in an all-white outfit with cloth wings attached to her shoulder-pads. Filia had half-expected her to stand on the balcony, make a speech about Justice, and then float down onto the dance floor, but with the dignitaries present, she had probably chosen a less risky entrance. But whatever the entrance she had chosen, it didn't work: the princess came through the grand entrance to the ballroom, advanced a single step, and then froze.

In her time, Amelia had seen sights to blast human sanity and make gods despair. She had gazed upon scenes of apocalyptic devastation, looked at displays of mind-staggering power, and beheld beings of unfathomable evil. But what she now witnessed was beyond anything in even her experience. Never had there been such horrifying, unspeakable wrong.

Zelgadis had clearly helped himself to the pumpkin cider. He was not only dancing side by side with Zelas, but doing it with gusto, as the crowd belted out the chorus of "Monster Mash". And Zelas was showing just as much enthusiasm as her partner. (The way she wagged her tail was nothing short of scandalous.)

Princess Amelia wil Tesla Saillune turned and went up the stairs with the speed of a panicked rabbit. True, she had vowed never to use the item she was now in frantic search of. But this was an emergency no one could have anticipated.

Exactly four minutes later, Zelas felt a polite tap on her shoulder. "May I cut in?" came Amelia's voice. Zelas turned, fully intending to apply violence of some sort to the upstart human. But when the world is turned upside down, it gives even a Mazoku lord pause.

Amelia was now wearing a devil costume. She was in solid red from the spiked-heel boots, to the flawlessly shaped legs, to the slender waist, to the magnificent bust line, to the elegant matching gloves, to the jaunty cape on her shoulders, all the way to the headband sporting a pair of horns. Not only did it look as if she had been poured into her outfit, it looked as if someone had known the exact millisecond to say 'when'.

She put out her hand expectantly to Zelgadis. He managed to remember that his jaw had to be off the floor in order to say something. "It's traditional," he apologized to Zelas.

A moment later, the musicians shifted to slower dance music with "Smoke of a Distant Fire". Zelgadis took Amelia's hand, and put his other arm around Amelia's waist. Zelas' shield barely held as the princess began radiating highly positive emotion, and the Mazoku lord reflexively stepped back. Zelgadis' and Amelia's eyes focused on each other, quickly forgetting the Greater Beast as they danced away. This might not have been a good idea, since Zelas now began to consider the best sequence of spells to reduce the city to artistic rubble.

Fortunately, Xellos' timing was superb as usual. "A thought, my Queen," he said quietly into Zelas' ear. "The offspring of a chimera and a sorceress, in the direct line of succession of the throne of Saillune, might prove both interesting and useful."

Zelas' face grew thoughtful.

"In the meantime, might I have this dance?" Xellos held out his hand in a polished gesture.

The Greater Beast smiled. "I do have a weakness for cute men in uniforms." And the two joined the other couples on the floor.

Val tugged at Filia's dress. "Look, Mommy. Don't Grandma and Daddy look nice together?"

"They look like-" Fila began, and then decided that phrases like 'Evil Incarnate' or 'Darkness Made Solid' were not appropriate for Val. "- uh, yes, they look like they're having a good time."

"Can we do that too?"

"Well, we're a little mismatched . . ." Suddenly, Filia remembered that non-destructive magic worked perfectly well in Saillune. "But let me show you your daddy's not the only one who can cast useful spells." She leaned down and touched the dragon-child's forehead. "Levitation!"

Val rose upwards until his head was level with Filia's, and they (literally for one of them) floated onto the dance floor.

With those additions and others, the floor was now well populated with dancers. Amelia took advantage of the situation by maneuvering Zelgadis over to one of the balconies overlooking the city.

"I'm impressed at how well you wear that outfit," Zelgadis said, and it was no lie.

"That probably comes from my mother," Amelia replied. "She had a fondness for exotic costume. I think that's part of the reason she started the Monster's Eve festivities."

"To tell the truth, I didn't think much of Monster's Eve at first," Zelgadis admitted. "but it's kind of grown on me over the course of the day. I especially like this part."

"You did look like you were having fun dancing with Zelas." Amelia commented.

"Ahh - say, isn't that a new song from the musicians?" Zelgadis glanced back towards the orchestra. "I don't think I've ever heard it before."

"Yes, but I don't think that's important just now." Amelia kept her gaze focused on him.

"Yes, well, it was - enjoyable - to meet someone outside our little band who wasn't repelled by me," said Zelgadis. "The thing is, she _did_ think of me as a monster. It was just that she liked it that way. But you don't think of me as a monster."

"Never," said Amelia.

_"You are someone I admire," _came the lead singer's voice from the orchestra.

And now Zelgadis found that words were coming more easily. "I always thought that you would change when you found out more about how the world really works. And then, you would change the way you felt about me. But I guess I'd forgotten that you'd already had tragedy in your life. Instead, tonight, I'm the one who found out that some things aren't what I thought. Still . . . I worry about hurting you. . . I don't exactly have a soft touch."

"_But our friendship leaves something to be desired," _the song continued.

"Do you remember that Viz Frank spell I sometimes used for hand to hand combat?" Amelia asked. Zelgadis nodded. "Viz Corpus Totalem!" the princess recited.

"_Does it take more explanation than this?"_

A faint aura appeared around Amelia from head to toe, and she somehow looked more durable. Zelgadis had the impression that anything less than a heavy crossbow bolt would have simply bounced off her. "Amelia . . . you . . ." Zelgadis couldn't manage to form any more words.

"_You are woman! I am man! Let's kiss!"_

They did.

Fortunately, Zelas and Xellos were on the far side of the dance floor from the balcony, or even the shields cast by the Greater Beast might not have held against the tidal wave of positive emotion. "Honestly," remarked Zelas, "some people have no consideration for guests."

Neither Amelia nor Zelgadis could have told anyone how long it was before the kiss came to an end. In fact, they were both vaguely surprised that time had not completely stopped. But when they disengaged, the situation was much clearer to Zelgadis, and he acted accordingly. "Amelia . . . Do you know if there are any jewelry shops still open? There's a special kind of ring I'd like to get for you."

Amelia's eyes sparkled. "There's an old friend who made my first earrings, who I'm sure will open his shop for us."

Sometime later, Val had gotten very sleepy, and so Filia had brought him to the nursery. The room didn't anything quite big enough for a bed for Val, but Filia had simply lifted a settee from the hall outside and put it next to Alcia's crib. (Dragon strength came in handy for all sorts of parenting chores.) One of the nannies found a comforter, though her face clearly showed her resentment at the irregularity, and Filia tucked her son in for the night. Alcia was sleeping soundly, and so a satisfied Filia went back to the ballroom.

By the time she got back, however, the party was breaking up. The musicians had departed, along with many of the guests. Lina, Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis were still there, but the four were seated around a table and talking intently. Filia overheard something about the need to "catch up" with herself and Xellos, and something else about a double ceremony, and decided not to intrude. She spotted Xellos and walked over to join him.

"I trust Val and Alcia are sleeping well?" Xellos asked.

"Quite well." Filia replied. "Better than Lady Zelas will, I imagine, since you didn't find Valwin's Vessel."

"Fail a mission?" Xellos smirked. "Me?"

"Oh, no." Filia's heart sank. "But then . . . all this time . . ."

"Well, I didn't want to interrupt my Queen when she was dancing." Xellos said. "And speaking of . . ."

"Hello, Filia." Zelas' voice sounded like the cat who was about to eat the canary. "Princess Amelia has a wonderful selection of liqueur-filled chocolates for her guests. Have you tried them? You look like you could use a couple."

"Um, no, thank you." There wasn't enough time for alcohol to take effect, and anyway it seemed to Filia that it was more proper to be sober for the end of the world.

"Pity." Zelas turned to her priest-general. "Let's see it."

Xellos took a pouch from his belt, unfolded it once, twice, and then reached as if he was performing a conjuror's trick. And indeed there shouldn't have been enough space inside, but he drew forth a large black roughly cylindrical object. "It occurred to me that the reason there was no news of Valwin's Vessel was that the person who had it didn't know what it was. Apparently it was painted with black enamel at some point over the last several centuries, and then finally ended up at a rather low-class pawnshop in Saillune. The good news is that I bought it at a most reasonable price." He drew a hand down the side of his prize, and the black coating peeled away like an eggshell.

Valwin's Vessel was beautiful. It gleamed with the luster of pure orihalcon. It was etched with marvelously delicate calligraphy. And it was a vase.

Filia's magnifying glass was in her hand in the blink of an eye. "Marvelous surface finish," she declared, leaning in closely. "You rarely see such fine buffing work. And the calligraphy is eight to nine centuries old, the Bellantini School if I'm not mistak-"

"Eager, aren't you!" Zelas pulled the vase away. "Well, I'll make sure it's mounted properly in my trophy room on Wolf Pack Island. You'll be able to see it _when,_" she emphasized the word, "you bring the grandchildren for summer vacation."

_But there's no Holy magic on Wolf Pack Island!_ Filia thought. _Oh, please don't let her realize she won't be able to use it there!_

"And yes, I realize I won't be able to use it there," Zelas continued.

Filia nearly face-faulted. "But . . . then . . . "

Zelas' smile showed just a hint of fang. "It's an interesting world. I think I'll keep it."

**-The End-**

Author's notes: There is no Valwin's Vessel in the official Slayers canon, but it seemed possible that if there is a Hellmaster's Jar, then the Dragon Lords could have artifacts too.

Yes, the world of Slayers would not have famous songs from this world, but then they probably wouldn't speak Japanese or English either. Consider this as a translation to concepts the reader is familiar with.

The song "Purple People Eater", by Sheb Wooley, is in fact about a monster who eats purple people and wants to play in a rock n' roll band. "You Are Woman I Am Man" is from the musical "Funny Girl". Lastly, the idea of coating Valwin's Vessel with black enamel comes from "The Maltese Falcon". (If I just use it, it's stealing, if I give a credit, it's homage to a classic!)


End file.
